been wanting and craving

F R U I T S (:

Science Bowl Competition!

8th out of 42!

fact: I promised him we'd go eat korean bbq and we finally did (:

Asian Club Chinese New Years Assembly(:

use somebody + falling for you (:

AC DEC CREW!

Asian Club Decoration Crew! (:

honestly

What's really keeping me in this "family" ?

To me.. it seems that the only thing that is keeping this bond together is cosplay.

I love you guys and all.. but don't assume that I would never try to find time to hang out.

At least ask and understand that I just don't have the time and money as much as you do.

PKC, I did not totally delete cosplay out of my life but tell me, if i were to, would we still have this bond?

Or will I just be "kicked out" just because I don't do it anymore?

When was the last time any of you guys asked how have I been or what I have been up to lately?

In fact, when was the last time YOU talked to me first instead of ME having to have to talk to you first?

Dear Mom, Dad, & Sister, tell me.. who do you consider a PKC now?

I want to know.

urban movement

can i really take you on?
or am i just crazy to even think about adding on more of a load onto myself?

thanks Kris (:

aww (:

Jospeh Vincent

Magnet Ice Skating

Fact: Today was the first time I ever got to go ice skating with a boyfriend (:

YUCA CNY Performance

GOOD JOB YUCA MODERN, TRADITIONAL, & JYT! (:

restless

Seriously, I am out of energy but I'm not going to quit because it was my choice to take all this pressure and I have no rights to complain.

kill me now!

Hi Maggie! ^^

I ended up staying up late to finish homework.

Luckily, my dad is nice enough to drop me off at school now that I have 0 period. I was like a walking zombie this morning ._.

So I decided to keep my 7 classes because the benefit of me having a 0 period is that my dad will drive me to school and i get to stretch and the benefit of me staying in astro is that I get to go star gazing! :D

Class was all the same old ordinary day stuff.

Except I was really at the point of passing out today because I was really tired T.T Maybe I am putting too much on myself..

I fell asleep at work though ._.

Trinh: Did Andy ask you to marry him?!
-- woahhhhhhhhhhhh we're far from that! LOLL

Andy is taking his driving test tomorrow! Good luck! (:

Ehh.. I feel left out of PKC now..

So I had this dream where I collapsed and it indicates..
To dream that you collapse, indicates that you are pushing yourself too hard. You have lost sight of your goals and what you need to accomplish. You may also be having difficulties trusting your own judgment and decisions.

Lately I've been catching myself saying to myself "I don't want to do it anymore"

Fact: my boyfriend is so cheesy it makes him cuter then he already is (:
Me (9:19:58 PM): lmfao ok cause i call victor kim my number 2 boyfriend
Andy (9:20:02 PM): it's not like i'd want to stop you
Andy (9:20:03 PM): xD
Andy (9:20:06 PM): okay
Me (9:20:46 PM): i think youd want to kill my number one, andy hu, cause it's him and not you (:
Andy (9:21:42 PM): D: gosh
Andy (9:21:46 PM): that's baddd
Andy (9:21:50 PM): i cant commit suicide
Andy (9:21:54 PM): it'll break my girlyfriend's heart
Andy (9:21:59 PM): and my ghost couldn't live with that


ZOMG! SO BEAUTIFUL! VICTOR KIM! <3 XD

Final Rehersal & Kbbq!

i don't have the energy to blog T.T


Andy (12:08:50 AM): definitely, hugs should be special

Happy Chinese New Years & Valentine's Day!

Andy: Hey. Will you be my Valentines?! I'm awfully desperate and out of options.
Me: lol options? who do i have to fight now!?
Andy: No one :3 but i'm still desperate
-- loll isn't he so cute?! :D be jealous (:
Dear Andy,
I know it has only been 3 days, but the amount of time that it took for us to grow closer together has been crazy. It was like a game. A very complicated game that I wanted to keep playing. A game that took time and patience. From "what the hell?! wanna fight?!" to "hello there how was your day? (:" I can honestly say that I never expected any of this to happen but it did and everything that has happened is no regret. They're all like a piece of puzzle, or a new chapter in my life. There were a lot of times where I wanted to give up but you'd always pick me back up and believed that I could do it. You were always there to listen and turn my frowns upside down with your lame self. You're full of surprises and always keeps me guessing. You can say or do the smallest thing ever and it'll keep me giggling all day long. Your hugs are what I look forward to every time because I never want to let go and they're my favorite type of hugs. I'm glad that I waited, because you're someone that I never knew existed anymore. I was at the point where I started to believe that times like these only happen in dreams. I sound so cheesy. Happy Valentines Day Boyfriend(: <3
edit//10:31pm
Me thinking I had to be home because it was Chinese New Years, I made no plans! So when I woke up in the afternoon, I thought to myself.. "wait, why didn't they yell at me to get up early?" Then I realized that we weren't going to do anything! So I went online and Rey IM's me to tell me to go buy ballons. I was like WTHHHH?! I gave in eventually and went to do the mission with them!

Little Tokyo. Met up with Rey & Anthony, and guess what? We were all wearing purple, black, and white! LOL I swear it was unplanned! So then we headed up to the garden and found this tent where we hid the gooods! Finally Yong arrived so we went to hide! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED MAN! YONG YOU OWE US (: After all that was done, we just camera whore and went our separate ways. Got on the train, met up with Julie & Wilson. Julie failed. She went to the other side LOL

Pasadena. Walked to the movies, got tickets to Valentine's Day, ate, then went into the movies (: HONESTLY I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THAT THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE MOVIE! FILLED WITH CUTE STUFF, COMEDY, SAD STUFF, ohhhh man I cried because it made me feel so happpy ! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! (; After we went to get some Coldstone and headed to the train station. The whole time there we were just dancing :P. Damn we were laughing so hard we looked like we were drunk :o Man we had a lot of goood laughs today! :D We got off at little tokyo and they waited with me for my bus (:

Julie: I GOT THIS STAIN ON MY SHIRT GOT THIS STAIN ON MY SHIRT!
*minutes later..
Julie: I GOT THIS STAIN OFF MY SHIRT GOT THIS STAIN OFF MY SHIRT!

Wilson: WUD UP?!
Julie: OW
Jenn: YOU MAD?!So I would have to say that my Valentine's Day was pretty dope! Even though I didn't get to spend it with Andy, but it's alll goood (:

"you love that person, for all their good, and bad."
-- Valentine's Day

Chinese New Years Eve!

Damn I was having a really nice sleep until my sister walked into my room to slap me to get up around 7:30am T.T

I pretty much just spent my morning cracking the shells off the shrimp, cutting it in middle, and ripping off the intestines. Sounds fun right? :D

edit//10:22pm
Ok so after I finished helping around the house, I headed out to Chinatown. Damn i was lucky that I made it to the bus stop or else Dennis would have killled me! Once we all met up, we went to go buy the shirts then we headed out to Downtown Fashion District. After Dennis dropped us of, Trinh got Henry, Gerry, & I bacon wrapped hotdog! Yumm! So goood! We went to buy fabric and they dropped me off at home.

Once I got home, my dad gave me the "you're in trouble"face o__o But it turned out that he wanted me to walk over to my uncle's house to deliever the red envelopes so my sister could pass them out. It was nice seeing my family again (: But while looking at all the family portraits.. it's not the same as it use to be anymore..

I was bout to head out to buy some more stuff for dance, but then my cousins ended up taking me to the mall. My aunt ended up buying me the purple nike dunks that I wanted :o I pulled out the cash, she pulled out the card. Damn it. I felt bad so gave her the money. We argued for a while so I ended up paying $30 and she paid $40 .___.


I fell asleep in the car and woke up at a unknown place .___. It turned out to be my uncle's side of the family's place lol. I didn't really stay long cause I knew my parents would want me home since my mommy cooked this morning. But when I got home, they didn't care cause parents were sleeping, sisters were doing their own thing, and grandma was just watching tv LOL


DAMN I LOVE HER CHOREO! This is my type of dance (;

Pre-Valentines Day(:

zZzZzZz .. oh mann I did not have the energy to roll out of bed today. Hopefully my dad drives me to school in the morning too. If I wake up at 5 everyday and sleep late, I'd be screwed for the rest of the school year. I wonder if I really can handle 7 classes..

My morning started off with breaking into people's locker (:0 ;; Ballet. Ohhh man we were all in pain! It hurts to stretch now T.T Especially when we have to put our legs up on the bar! The worst is when our legs are on the bar, straight, and turned away. Why? Because my legs are so short I can't have the leg on the bar straight! So Fernandez says she's going to have to get a shorter bar for me or something LOL. While doing abdominal workout, I was sooo ready to knock out on the floor!

1st ;; Ap Econ. Damn I looked like shit cause I was so tired LOL Like literally, I just clipped my hair up and left to class. While walking to class half asleep, I bumped into Andy. Heh I love his hugs :3 Lesson of the day! DEAD WIGHT LOSS! = IT NEVER HAPPENED!

2nd;; Precal. Aww Ashley got me a cupcake (:
Nutrition. I got dragged around back and forth by Jia Ying & Sophia ._. While going back down the stairs to go back to Wong's, Andy was walking up and gave me a rose (: First time that happened to me!

3rd ;; H Modern Lit. Vocab Test. Read Chp4 of Into The Wild

4th ;; Ballet. Auditions!

Lunch. TETRIS!

5th ;; Service. Graded papers & slept!

6th ;; Astronomy. Oh gosh so many names to remember..

Afterschool ;; Volleyball. Damn Cathy and I looked like bums just sitting on the floor waiting for our ride to volleyball practice! We didn't get to practice till like.. 4:20ish maybe? Practice was pretty bad today. Our team has bad communication skills. Went to buy McdDonalds with Gerry, Cathy, and Leyi. Damn we were soooo hungry! When we went back to the gym, we were playing this one game "I have the hat, I gave it to blah blah blah" hah oh man that was one intense game to figure out! Screw you Kellly! poor Cathy still didn't get it (: Everytime Cathy screamed out 'TELL ME' I would start singing "Tell me why ain't nothing but a heart ache! Tell me why! Ain't nothing but a mistake!" LOL pretty much for the rest of practice, we just sat around, sang, talked, and played taht damn game!

GG i have a sore throat and a stuff nose out of no where! it started hurting around 2nd period. I thought that it was just from all the chocolate and that it'll pass by, but it got worse D; I don't want to get sickkkkk ! I REFUSE!

Damn this weekend is lock down due to Chinese New Years.

Andy Hu(:

it started with 'Ey Girl' about a year ago
that eventually faded away
months later, it suddenly came back
but i was still unsure
homecoming came around the corner
and the spark came back
time grew with riddles & unclear signs
unsure of what was on your mind
a new year began
and you were worth the wait
(:

My day started off with no 0 period! Which meant I got to sleep in! That lead to me over sleeping a little and missing my bus T.T My dad was upset so when he dropped me off, I was early and told him to just drop me off at McDonalds because I wanted some sweet tea (: After that I went to 711 because I knew my hungry tummy would growl at me during 2nd period.

I arrived to school pretty early still. At least Sophia was there! We just sat around and was singing to every music playing on her laptop. "Call me Mr. Flintstones I can make your bed rock (;"

Ap Econ. Went to the computer lab to work on service learning project. I already finished so i just helped Ashley and rolled around with the car :p

Precal. Yumm candy :P

H Modern Lit. zZz I fell asleep reading :x

Ballet. Teacher wasn't there so we just sat around and talked. Julie scares me sometimes! Jk love you baby (: But yeah we had a interesting conversation! It made me realize how much more Julie and I can relate! (:

Service. Walked around lol

Astronomy. Began working on lab books. The class doesn't seem that bad. I guess it was cause of all those stories I heard bout Paulson that made me worry. But maybe that was cause they weren't really interested in the class either LOL

After school. Jack in the box. 500 days of summer. finallllllly (:

2112010♥

changed classes

0 - Dance ;; Fernandez
1 - Ap Econ ;; Zapata
2 - Precal ;; Romero-Flores
3 - H Modern Lit ;; De Pauw
4 - Adv Ballet ;; Fernandez
5 - Service ;; Zapata
6 - Astronomy ;; Paulson

Gah I realize that now I have to get up around 5 or 5:30am everyday. Eee 8 hours of school. Am I crazy or and I just insane? I'm only taking these extra classes because I want to raise my GPA. Plus I want the extra dance and I want to learn bout the stars (: So it shouldn't be that bad right?

Watch give me a few weeks and I might start complaining :p

But I gotta step up my game and do better in school. I told my mommy a few years ago that I won't graduate with a silver medal like my sister did. I told her I'll do better then her and graduate with gold [3.5+ GPA]

Reminder: Inform colleges bout my change in classes.

Rain rain rain! Why must you pour down on me :[ LIGHTING! Was pretty! After the rain as the sun was setting.. beautiful sky (:

I love it when it's sunny and raining at the same time!

Hmm Valentines Day.. never had a really special or memorable one. This year seems like everyone has someone or have ideas of what they wanna do for someone or taking out someone. Eh whatevers. It's just another ordinary day.

Jealousy is coming back..

half way there

Today is the 1st day of the 2nd semester of senior year. We're almost there guys!

Classes:
1 - Ap Econ ;; Zapata
2 - Precal ;; Romero-Flores
3 - H Modern Lit ;; De Pauw
4 - Adv Ballet ;; Fernandez
5 - Service ;; Zapata
6 - Work Experience ;; Ayala

I'm thinking of changing my 6th period cause I don't want to have to be at school by 7:15 every Wednesday T.T plus I don't even go home and I have 2 hours to kill before work. Idk maybe I'll just spend it cleaning Brewers room everyday for 6th.

I actually love my classes because now I have classes with more people that I know! So I'm hoping that 2nd semester will be pretty dope. (:

I'm like in like with dance now! I'm reallly excited to do the spring showcase! (:

edit//11:11pm
Sometimes I just lose hope..
Sometimes I feel like I'm not trying hard enough..
Sometimes I just don't know what to do..
Sometimes I don't know what to believe..
Sometimes I should just stop..
Sometimes I can't hold it in..
Sometimes I just have to let it out..
Sometimes I just want to _______________ ..

how silly of me..

glendale galleria

we finally have a picture together(:

"he who holds the key can unlock my heart" (:

you're my sunshine

after the rain (:

stupid rain ruined my plans! but I'm happy that my day was still good :)

finals: day 3

Precal & H Geography

So pretty much today felt like a let down.. My day began with not finishing my math hw & unable to even make my cheat sheet [yes this was allowed during my final]. Also I woke up late, but since my mommy wanted me to eat, my dad didn't mind driving me to school.

AHHH rain! Me no likey the rain. Especially walking in the rain in the morning.

Precal. I would have to say a couple of the problems weren't that bad. But at the same time.. I don't feel confident that I passed :/ Apparently when I fell asleep, Kevin Dang was changing my songs on my iPod to see if i would wake up, but I never did lol.

Nutrition. Went to Zapata's to check my grade. I have to say that it was one of those lucky moments that guessing and actually taking my time on the final got me a good grade. Although, when Zapata was telling us bout how he suspected that some people cheated in1st period, it kinda put me down cause lately I've been getting good scores on the test and I just get the feeling that he feels that I cheated cause that fucken [no name] dumbass was looking at the answers around where I was sitting. In all honesty, I just wanted to pass the class with atleast a C. Is it really that surprising that my scores have been up? Shiet I may be a lazy ass but that doesn't make me a total dumbass.

H Geography. We finished our extra credit power point and presented it. Rey and i checked our grades and we were reallly close to an A. So we begged Verdon and gave him many reasons to why we should get an A and he gave it to us (: I got a "Student demonstrates enough determination and deserves the extra credit." Fasho.

After school. Damn people lag alot! Anyways so I decided to wait for Andy Le so we can walk to practice together since everyone else went to do their own thing. When we started walking, he ditched me for Tiffany >;o so I ended up walking by myself for a while. Eventually Andy Hu somehow caught up to me and we just walked to dance.

Dance Practice. Damn was I on crack or what? LOL i felt like a rubber band while stretching! Dancing around & bouncing off the wallls! Ok maybe not. Oh man.. why must you change almost EVERYTHING in the routine when we have such a short amount of time? I can honestly say I love it and that we can do it. But that would only work if we had more time. I love how I can take out my stress while dancing. Although.. I need a serious massage as of right now .___.

Volleyball. Man I can't serve to save my life! At least I'm slowly getting better at it. So since not a lot of people showed up, while we were playing a game, I got to be "THE BOY" on the team because Henry was the only guy and we rather get us to our players then use other people. Dennis got me gender confused cause he forgot that he made me a guy and didn't tell the refs. So that point was so ours! Anyways we won the game (:

I received a rejection letter from California State University, Fullerton. Oh wells I didn't really wanna go there either (:

& when it's the perfect moment, you're too scared to say anything, but when you plan on it, things don't go to way you plan. lesson learned. the unexpected and unplanned moments will always be the moments where you gotta let go of your fears.

Fuck. This whole finals drama is .. no comment..

"You’re the only one I talk to who really knows me tells me shows me that it’s enough sometimes just to be myself"

julie (11:10:10 PM): LMFAO
julie (11:10:13 PM): NICE JENN
julie (11:10:20 PM): good thing u got those cute expressions.
julie (11:10:20 PM): LOL
julie (11:10:27 PM): even... when you're mad
julie (11:10:28 PM): HAHAHAHA
bobasaur (11:10:30 PM): . . .
-- ohhh Julie (:

ARG

sometimes when you tell someone something and then they act as if they don't know shit and ruin the plan..

FREAKEN SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

i was so close this time too..

finals: day 2

Ap Econ & Asian Studies

PREPARED TO BE RAPED >;D

Tumblr: To those who are married, .. Not married .. and soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story...

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

finals: day 1

H Expo Comp & Dance

dooooooodle (:

& DONE WITH FAFSA!

what have i got myself into?

YUCA Modern - 3 out of 9 routines
YUCA Traditional - 4 out of 6 routines [MUST WORK ON SOLO!]
Ballet - so far we only have one routine so i'm safe!
Lincoln Hip-Hop - One competition?
YUCA Volleyball
& other extra non sports related stuff
SUCH AS FINALS

At first it didn't seem much, but can I really do it?