How do you expect me to put up with your shit, accept you for who you are, and be with you if you can't even fucken trust me?
How can I give you my all and you're never fucken satisfied?
You're pushing my faster away then you think.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I'm sorry.
You quoted no strings attached and said "if you miss someone, you can't call,text, IM, facebook, etc. saying that you miss them. you have to make the effort to see them." You make it seem like I always have time to see you. You have your life and I have mine. I'm not free 24/7 and when I am I do talk to you. Or at least TRY. And when I know I'm free on a certain day and have money, everyone knows I reserve that certain to go see you.
You said to cherish what I have even though I strongly dislike my dad. Family will always be there. Yeah I strongly dislike my dad. We fight. Everyone fights. Everyone has their ups and downs. Everyone says stupid things when they're mad. I do love my family. I love my mom and sisters to death. My dad and I do not have a stable relationship. None of us have a stable relationship. But he's still my dad.
You assume that everything was a lie. If everything was a fucken lie. I would have fucken left forever ago. I don't lead on people. I am for real.
You say that I'm out wasting money instead of using that money for gas to see you. YOU SWEAR AS IF GAS IS FUCKEN CHEAP. WHEN I GO TO SEE YOU. I WASTE MORE THEN HALF A FUCKEN TANK. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A FUCKEN STABLE JOB? DO YOU THINK I CAN EVEN FILL UP A WHOLE TANK NOW? NO. I BARLEY HAVE ENOUGH. AND IF I DO HAVE MONEY, DO YOU THINK I CAN USE IT SO EASILY? I OWE PEOPLE MONEY AND I HAVE TO PAY FOR BOOKS.
Why couldn't I answer you? BECAUSE I WAS CRYING MY FUCKEN ASS OFF. DO YOU THINK IT'S EASY FOR ME TO TALK WHEN I'M CRYING A FUCKEN OCEAN?
Why won't I tell you whats wrong? BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS CATCH ME AT A BAD TIME. GIVE ME SPACE WHEN I NEED IT. BE PATIENT WITH ME. I WILL TELL YOU EVENTUALLY. I WON'T TELL YOU ASAP, BUT I WILL TELL YOU.
Why couldn't I see you Valentines day? Cause I was dead fucken broke during that time and you knew it.
You asked "Why did you say yes when you're already so busy during break then how will we see each other when school starts?" Because I make time. I am a busy girl but I make time to see people. Everyone knows that I would choose to see you if I already planned
to. In fact, I was going to go surprise visit you tomorrow, but I guess not anymore.
You asked if there is another guy. Wow. Really? You think I will let another guy get at me when I'm with someone? Is that what you really think of me? I guess you really don't know me.
I'm sorry if my effort isn't good enough for you. I'm sorry that I'm trying to juggle my life around. I'm sorry then I'm a fucken bitch when I'm mad. I'm sorry that I'm not rich. I'm sorry that I have a bunch of guy friends that care. I'm sorry that I haven't been really keeping in contact with you, but at least I try to call or text you but when I do, you're either sleeping or busy hanging out. I give you your space. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry I'm cranky when I don't get enough sleep. I'm sorry I love to sleep a lot. I'm sorry for not answering you back right away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything you see wrong about me. I'm sorry for being who I am.
Do you think it helps when I want to talk to you cause I'm upset and all you do is stay quiet or just say "okay I'll talk to you later." Do you think I like getting yelled at to wake up early in the morning when you know that I slept late? Do you think I don't want to talk to you when I'm either busy or driving? Do you think it's easy for me to get money? Do you think it doesn't bother me when you're out late and I don't get a response by either text or call? Do you think that I don't care about you? Do you think I don't try to find a day to go see you? Do you really think that I don't want to be with you?
Fact: I am a really complicated person to figure out. In fact, everyone is a puzzle. You have to put the pieces together to figure it all out.
You said to cherish what I have even though I strongly dislike my dad. Family will always be there. Yeah I strongly dislike my dad. We fight. Everyone fights. Everyone has their ups and downs. Everyone says stupid things when they're mad. I do love my family. I love my mom and sisters to death. My dad and I do not have a stable relationship. None of us have a stable relationship. But he's still my dad.
You assume that everything was a lie. If everything was a fucken lie. I would have fucken left forever ago. I don't lead on people. I am for real.
You say that I'm out wasting money instead of using that money for gas to see you. YOU SWEAR AS IF GAS IS FUCKEN CHEAP. WHEN I GO TO SEE YOU. I WASTE MORE THEN HALF A FUCKEN TANK. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A FUCKEN STABLE JOB? DO YOU THINK I CAN EVEN FILL UP A WHOLE TANK NOW? NO. I BARLEY HAVE ENOUGH. AND IF I DO HAVE MONEY, DO YOU THINK I CAN USE IT SO EASILY? I OWE PEOPLE MONEY AND I HAVE TO PAY FOR BOOKS.
Why couldn't I answer you? BECAUSE I WAS CRYING MY FUCKEN ASS OFF. DO YOU THINK IT'S EASY FOR ME TO TALK WHEN I'M CRYING A FUCKEN OCEAN?
Why won't I tell you whats wrong? BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS CATCH ME AT A BAD TIME. GIVE ME SPACE WHEN I NEED IT. BE PATIENT WITH ME. I WILL TELL YOU EVENTUALLY. I WON'T TELL YOU ASAP, BUT I WILL TELL YOU.
Why couldn't I see you Valentines day? Cause I was dead fucken broke during that time and you knew it.
You asked "Why did you say yes when you're already so busy during break then how will we see each other when school starts?" Because I make time. I am a busy girl but I make time to see people. Everyone knows that I would choose to see you if I already planned
to. In fact, I was going to go surprise visit you tomorrow, but I guess not anymore.
You asked if there is another guy. Wow. Really? You think I will let another guy get at me when I'm with someone? Is that what you really think of me? I guess you really don't know me.
I'm sorry if my effort isn't good enough for you. I'm sorry that I'm trying to juggle my life around. I'm sorry then I'm a fucken bitch when I'm mad. I'm sorry that I'm not rich. I'm sorry that I have a bunch of guy friends that care. I'm sorry that I haven't been really keeping in contact with you, but at least I try to call or text you but when I do, you're either sleeping or busy hanging out. I give you your space. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry I'm cranky when I don't get enough sleep. I'm sorry I love to sleep a lot. I'm sorry for not answering you back right away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything you see wrong about me. I'm sorry for being who I am.
Do you think it helps when I want to talk to you cause I'm upset and all you do is stay quiet or just say "okay I'll talk to you later." Do you think I like getting yelled at to wake up early in the morning when you know that I slept late? Do you think I don't want to talk to you when I'm either busy or driving? Do you think it's easy for me to get money? Do you think it doesn't bother me when you're out late and I don't get a response by either text or call? Do you think that I don't care about you? Do you think I don't try to find a day to go see you? Do you really think that I don't want to be with you?
Fact: I am a really complicated person to figure out. In fact, everyone is a puzzle. You have to put the pieces together to figure it all out.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
From Eugene
Hi babe :). I hope your having a wonderful day even though we aren't together. Going to kbbq without me...was unacceptable, but I forgive you :) Everytime I think about you I think about how lucky I am and if I truly do deserve you. Do I? I can only wish.. ^^ I miss your kisses and hugs from behind...and I wish I can see you very soon. And although I might not always put a smile on that cute face of yours... I wish this small thing I did will...even its only for one second. Happy valentines day baby. I love you and I miss you so much. So to finish this off I'll hand this off to my new friend stitch.. "Will you be my valentine?"
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Exactly
Bestfriends are people you don't need to talk to every single day. You don't need to talk to each other for weeks, but when you do, it's as if you didn't even stop talking.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
28111802(:
- I like how we took things slow.
- I like how you were positive about it.
- I like how we put 50/50% effort into us.
- I like how you're not afraid to show that I'm yours in public.
- I like how you text me good morning and good night.
- I like how you trust me.
- I like how you let me be independent.
- I like how you would spoil me but let me pay for myself sometimes.
- I like how we both accept and understand my love for Disney and your love for Starcraft.
- I like how you took care of me when I was sick.
- I like how we share a strong passion for dance.
- I like how you would take me on random dates.
- I like how you would randomly compliment me even though I do stupid things.
- I like how you accept me for who I am.
- I like how you're very supportive.
- I like how you're understanding.
- I like how you listen when I need someone to talk to.
- I like how you know when to be serious and when to joke around.
- I like how we take stupid pictures together.
- I like how you can always make me laugh.
- I like how you're yourself around me.
- I like how you remember the little things.
- I like how we always have a love hate thing going on.
- I like how you're such a sweet cheeseball.
- I like how we're so competitive when it comes to video games.
- I like how you're open with me.
- I like how you're truthful with me.
- I like how you're down for me.
- I like how you would give me random kisses.
- I like how you would randomly hug me.
- And I like how there's just so many things to like about you(:
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