Reminiscing

Today I found out that I am ranked 136/538 seniors. Which means I am in the top 25% but at the same time, I feel like I'm not reaching my own level. Out of the blues today, I thought of how I use to be when i was young. Straight A's, top of the class, valedictorian, student of the year, etc. What happen to me? I mean yeah top 25% is good and all, but the happy feeling isn't there.

I understand that not getting into a university isn't all that great cause it's just another school. To me, it really means a lot to me because I have set my goals since middle school, and I failed. I grew up around cousin's who all went to UC's thinking one day I can work hard enough and be like those I looked up to because I was consider the youngest of the generation.

At the same time, the one cousin I looked up to the most was Miralyne. She prtty must guided me through life and she is pretty much the reason I am who I am today. She was the one who opened up my eyes that community college isn't that bad. For one it saves money, and transfer programs are easier at a junior college then a cal state. Sometimes I wish that she was around to hold my hand during high school, but thinking about it, I had to learn things on my own, and I'm glad to have her in my life.

Maybe I was just worried that I couldn't not only reach my own, but others expectation as well. How silly of me. It's not about where I go, it's about what I am going to do about my life. Who knows, maybe if I'm lucky, things might turn around.

Live in the present, worry about the future later.