I'm sorry.

You quoted no strings attached and said "if you miss someone, you can't call,text, IM, facebook, etc. saying that you miss them. you have to make the effort to see them." You make it seem like I always have time to see you. You have your life and I have mine. I'm not free 24/7 and when I am I do talk to you. Or at least TRY. And when I know I'm free on a certain day and have money, everyone knows I reserve that certain to go see you.

You said to cherish what I have even though I strongly dislike my dad. Family will always be there. Yeah I strongly dislike my dad. We fight. Everyone fights. Everyone has their ups and downs. Everyone says stupid things when they're mad. I do love my family. I love my mom and sisters to death. My dad and I do not have a stable relationship. None of us have a stable relationship. But he's still my dad.

You assume that everything was a lie. If everything was a fucken lie. I would have fucken left forever ago. I don't lead on people. I am for real.

You say that I'm out wasting money instead of using that money for gas to see you. YOU SWEAR AS IF GAS IS FUCKEN CHEAP. WHEN I GO TO SEE YOU. I WASTE MORE THEN HALF A FUCKEN TANK. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A FUCKEN STABLE JOB? DO YOU THINK I CAN EVEN FILL UP A WHOLE TANK NOW? NO. I BARLEY HAVE ENOUGH. AND IF I DO HAVE MONEY, DO YOU THINK I CAN USE IT SO EASILY? I OWE PEOPLE MONEY AND I HAVE TO PAY FOR BOOKS.

Why couldn't I answer you? BECAUSE I WAS CRYING MY FUCKEN ASS OFF. DO YOU THINK IT'S EASY FOR ME TO TALK WHEN I'M CRYING A FUCKEN OCEAN?

Why won't I tell you whats wrong? BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS CATCH ME AT A BAD TIME. GIVE ME SPACE WHEN I NEED IT. BE PATIENT WITH ME. I WILL TELL YOU EVENTUALLY. I WON'T TELL YOU ASAP, BUT I WILL TELL YOU.

Why couldn't I see you Valentines day? Cause I was dead fucken broke during that time and you knew it.

You asked "Why did you say yes when you're already so busy during break then how will we see each other when school starts?" Because I make time. I am a busy girl but I make time to see people. Everyone knows that I would choose to see you if I already planned
to. In fact, I was going to go surprise visit you tomorrow, but I guess not anymore.

You asked if there is another guy. Wow. Really? You think I will let another guy get at me when I'm with someone? Is that what you really think of me? I guess you really don't know me.

I'm sorry if my effort isn't good enough for you. I'm sorry that I'm trying to juggle my life around. I'm sorry then I'm a fucken bitch when I'm mad. I'm sorry that I'm not rich. I'm sorry that I have a bunch of guy friends that care. I'm sorry that I haven't been really keeping in contact with you, but at least I try to call or text you but when I do, you're either sleeping or busy hanging out. I give you your space. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry I'm cranky when I don't get enough sleep. I'm sorry I love to sleep a lot. I'm sorry for not answering you back right away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything you see wrong about me. I'm sorry for being who I am.

Do you think it helps when I want to talk to you cause I'm upset and all you do is stay quiet or just say "okay I'll talk to you later." Do you think I like getting yelled at to wake up early in the morning when you know that I slept late? Do you think I don't want to talk to you when I'm either busy or driving? Do you think it's easy for me to get money? Do you think it doesn't bother me when you're out late and I don't get a response by either text or call? Do you think that I don't care about you? Do you think I don't try to find a day to go see you? Do you really think that I don't want to be with you?

Fact: I am a really complicated person to figure out. In fact, everyone is a puzzle. You have to put the pieces together to figure it all out.